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The Swinging Do's and Do Not's

2/8/2019

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swinger guide: The swinging do's and do not's
​In spite of the fact that most of the swinging will finish up involving lovemaking and getting frisky with one another’s partners, it isn’t as simple as that. Swinging is about creating an atmosphere of warmth and being pleasured.
Regardless of whether you are at a party with another couple or with someone else for a threesome, you will have an exciting time eating, drinking and talking. To get comfortable, building friendship with somebody is fundamental to get down on the knees later.

Swingers can unarguably distinguish between fun and friendship. The love and friendship given by their current relationship are pure and straightforward. There are no unpleasant edges anywhere and they ensure that or there might be severe problems afterward.
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Consequently, although swingers may have numerous sexual connections, they relish, enjoy and admire just one passionate emotional relationship. Although lose companionships are formed within the swinging community, they unquestionably realize that nothing is more important than their very own living partner or better half. The friendship among swingers reinforces the essential stem of the relationship instead of harming it.

The Dos of Swinging

1. Do your homework:
Taking time and investing sincerest efforts to examine the possibility of swinging with your partner and acknowledging and accepting what you both need from the experience, is the best homework before venturing into swinging. Moreover, be sure that you both need to do it and for the correct reasons. More often and quite frequently female partners are influenced and pressurized to engage in swinging. To enjoy profoundly joyful and safe sex, neither partners should be or feel, forced and influenced to do anything they would prefer not to do sexually, swinging or something else.

2. Be confident and supportive:
Be certain that the experience won’t harm your existing relationship with your partner. This is your key responsibility and you both need to persistently reassess it and discussion about the impacts, positive and negative, that swinging may have on your relationship. While you may develop a tender feeling and passionate affection for any swinging partners, know this and realize that they’re not who you’re in a committed relationship with (As for example, a few couples are essentially friends with benefits who need a swinging partner i.e. outside of swinging together they don’t have a relationship other than perhaps sexual). You should understand and always keep in mind that a swinging relationship can grow much bitter if swinging evolves to a point of much more than fulfilling sexual fantasies.

3. Respect your partner’s feelings, emotions, and desires:
Keep in mind the possibilities of jealousy issues emerging are high, especially for novice swingers. For instance, men can feel demeaned and lessened if their female partners don’t stop babbling about the other guy’s extraordinary or huge cock, or his muscular build-up, or the tempting looks and wonderful etiquette that partner posses. Likewise, a female wouldn’t like to hear her partner’s continuous and endless chattering about the other female’s looks or body. What’s more, she will have genuine insecurities in the event that you reveal to her how incredible the other lady’s breasts or butts are. Because women think differently than men; they put relationship first than sex. Excitement to a certain point is fine, however, anything beyond that can make issues complicated. Obsession is perhaps sexy and tempting given it’s not overpowering your senses.

4. Acknowledge rules, boundaries, and safe words:
Agree on rules and limits with your partner before you participate in swinging with another couple (same holds for threesomes as well). On the off chance that you want to break those rules, modify them or improvise them during sex then you should ask for your partner’s consent, i.e. better be sure than be sorry. There are numerous potential guidelines that you want to adhere to and they all are an element of your dimension of understanding, what you’re comfortable with and what you seek and expect from the experience. However, the typical ones include: things like kissing, any kind of sexual intercourse, anal sex, oral sex, using fingers on someone’s body and body cavities, hair pulling, hardcore or sensuous bondage and dominance, love nibbles, utilization of sex toys, languages used during sex, safe sex, where to ejaculate and so on. Before engaging in sex with another couple do acknowledge a ‘SAFE’ word or activity if both of you need to get a break or a stop to the session altogether. Likewise, in case you’re not content with something that is going on, speak your mind immediately as opposed to letting the situation get out of hand.

5. Respect each other’s boundaries:
Tell the other couples what your limits are and ask what theirs are. Do whatever it takes not to pass judgment if theirs are more liberal than yours. Keep in mind the ‘various strokes for various people’ logic. Engage in a transparent discussion with the other couple what you like sexually and what they like sexually. Moreover, talk about what you’re searching for in the experience and furthermore tune in to what they’re seeking after. You have to understand what turns them on and off and in a similar manner, they have to know the same about you.

6. Be liberal!
Now is your opportunity to experience your sexual fantasies so discard your fears and inhibitions and be a go-getter (assuming both you, your partner and the other couple have consented to what you want to experience).

7. Be honest and seek honesty on swinger’s website:
If you have a user profile on a swingers website, you have to ensure it exactly reflects what you resemble, your age (without extending reality excessively far), your body shape, what you need and who you’d like to meet. The better ‘search criteria’ you apply the less time you will waste and the more closely matched profiles will be on your list. Furthermore, ensure that you upload the latest photograph of you and your partner rather than pics quite a few years back where you participated in a gym competition or your partner walked on the ramp in a bikini.

8. Do your own research about the other couple before:
Before gathering anybody from a site or meeting anyone, try to discover as much data as you could about them, and furnish them with sufficient information about yourselves, to avoid any untoward incident and distasteful experience (for them as well as you). Think about talking via telephone or chatting on a webcam over Skype before you meet. Online video chats before a face to face meeting is a proven method for getting rid of the fakes. Keep in mind you would prefer not to waste a Friday or Saturday night suffering someone’s company over dinner if your vibrations essentially don’t match with them. Meeting for a dinner is an incredible first ‘date’ with another couple. If you’re 100% doubtful about whether you’ll like the couple or not, then plan your first meeting at any coffee shop or any bar for a short time to get to know each other.

9. Put your expectations a little low:
Do consent with the other couple that the first date won’t result in immediate sex after. Basically, you should meet at a café not frequented by your dear friends and peers, especially in case you’re endeavoring to be discrete with your secretly and sensational extra-curricular activities. Agreeing on having dinner together is the best possible way to avoid any awkwardness afterward. However, if you’re going on fabulously right from the very beginning, at that point you could generally give them a couple of indications that you’re willing to break the ‘no sex on the first date’ rule. Know that the first occasion when you engage in sexual relations with another couple it might be disastrous or not as good as you expected it to be (obviously it’s more than likely going to be exciting). Sex generally shows signs of improvement after a couple of adventures with the same couple. It’s difficult to bond with someone the very first time you engage in sexual relations. Keep in mind that it’s not like dating where you get to know each other after a few dates and become more acquainted with one another before you have intercourse. All four of you will presumably have the same type of anxieties and these are more mind-boggling and complicated than in a typical sexual situation between two individuals. For men, the anxiety levels are somewhat increased as they’re generally expected to perform like a ‘stud’ and this can lead to erection and retention problems in some males.

10. Choose your place wisely:
Analyze and then consent to where you will meet for your sexual adventures. Some couples don’t like to play in each other’s house or bedroom; mainly because they have other family members and kids and want to keep their sexual fantasies and adventures absolutely secret. Experienced and regular swingers often prefer a neutral place like a hotel. Hotels can build the ‘naughtiness’ of the circumstance as both the couples get extremely relaxed.
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11. Practice safe sex:
Safe sex ought to be compulsory! In situations where you’ve played with the same couple on various occasions and you’re 100% sure they’re not having unprotected sex with others, at that point maybe it’s alright to skip the protection. But, do keep in mind that individuals you swing with may not generally reveal to you every bit of the relevant information. If you’re playing with a couple for the first time, ensure that they’re free from any STDs or contaminated health issues. And also while playing with sex toys, keep pussy and anal toys separate, regularly clean your toys and keep them covered, and ask whether the toys are clean and hygienic while you play with the other couple’s toys.
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12. Practice discretion:
Do keep your sexual encounters with other couples absolutely discrete! Experienced swingers realize this is obligatory practice; however, novices are regularly the ones who sometimes boast about who they’ve played with. If you’re taking photographs or recordings of the encounter, ensure that you share them among the participating members not others.

The Do Not's of Swinging

  1. Don’t consider swinging if your relationship isn’t strong enough, free from any issues and founded on the strong pillars of trust, honesty, and respect. It is certainly not an answer to any issues you both are experiencing, sexual, emotional or something else.
  2. Don’t do anything that you aren’t absolutely confident and comfortable with doing. This implies you shouldn’t try to accomplish something simply because your partner is either compelling or pushing you to do it. Numerous men fantasize about observing two women getting it on sexually and frequently when two couples connect the men are excessively pushy to experience this fantasy. Also, men are often restless and right on the edge to swap partners as they are impatient to engage in sexual relations with the other lady. Try not to take part in something that you’re either not into or not prepared for.
  3. Don’t neglect your partner or his/her preferences and pleasures! Nobody wants to feel neglected. Jealousy issues are frequently and potentially bubbling away ceaselessly and can emerge to the surface at any minute. In case you’re a person who seems oblivious to the way that your wife or girlfriend is on the bed entwined with you four, ie. You’re concentrating the majority of your vitality on pleasuring the other lady, at that point, this will more than likely cause issues. Likewise in case you’re a woman whose eyes have widened and jaw has dropped after the other man has pulled his jeans down - if you, at that point, jump too rapidly and remain stuck to, his magnificently endowed penis, then this may trigger a couple of negative feelings and sentiments with your own partner (and perhaps with the other lady as well). Energy and willingness are normally hailed but sometimes restraint, attentiveness, and diplomacy are essential too.
  4. Try not to go astray from the guidelines and boundaries that you and your partner have consented to prior to engaging with the other couple. In case you’re thinking about breaking or bending or improvising the rules, always ask your partner during the intermission. But, be aware that you’ll be placing them in a clumsy situation that may make them feel like they’re under severe pressure. They are not going to want to upset you and they’re most likely not going to want to seem prudish. However, they may feel like they’re in a hopeless situation if they would prefer truly not to do it and you’re requesting that they do it. In the event that this circumstance emerges, at that point, I can ensure you’ll think twice about it after when you return home and face the fury of your partner. It’s far simpler and safer to adhere to the principles this time and afterward discuss, assess to consider embracing various new rules or limits to heighten the pleasure.
  5. Don’t do anything may discourage your partner or him/her feeling disempowered. As a matter of fact, you are expected to ensure that your partner feels strengthened, empowered and confident and allowed to explore their sexual desires. Furthermore, they have to realize that you’re content with them pleasuring the other couple (accepting that it’s inside the limits you’ve settled upon). This implies you have to support and encourage your partner during the session. Also, you have to assure them repeatedly that you’re comfortable with and enjoying what they’re doing.
  6. Try not to whisper in the ear of one of the other couple or on the off chance that you do be ready to be challenged by your partner later with respect to what the whispering was about. Swinging is something that ought to have no secrets or mysteries in between the couples. It’s a game played in the open. In saying this, seasoned swingers are in some cases comfortable with swapping partners and having intercourse in another room i.e. without their partner’s presence. This isn’t the typical standard as it’s generally all the more exciting for couples to watch their partner being pleasured while pleasuring another person. What’s more, couples sometimes have a desire to communicate with one another while taking an interest in partner swapping activity.
  7. Try not to reach the other couple or one of the other couple independently, without agreeing to the parameters with your partner. Again understand and consider that jealousy issues can emerge. However, if you’re in an open relationship your partner, you don’t need your living partner’s consent to contact the other couple without their knowledge. This especially applies to the person from one couple secretly reaching the other lady or the other way around. You have to open, respectful and honest with your partner as much as possible. Keep in mind you have an exceptionally one of a kind and hard to find a partner who is into swinging and enabling you to have intercourse with others providing it’s in an open forum (all together). Try not to risk damaging your well settled and established relationship by seeing another couple, or somebody you’ve met through swinging, surreptitiously.
  8. Try not to boast about your sexual triumphs to other people (individual swingers or companions). Discretion is the key to typical swingers. Another couple wouldn’t like to hear you brag about different couples you’ve played with (although some wouldn’t mind). Gloating unquestionably doesn’t exhibit discretion! Furthermore, it’s commonly a mood killer for the vast majority.
  9. Don’t argue with your partner before another couple you’re considering to play with. This will possibly slaughter any chemistry or excitement. In the event that you need to discuss, debate or clear up something, at that point talk in private far from the other couple. This is particularly the situation if you need to consider breaking any predefined standards or limits you’d agreed upon.
  10. Never offend another couple in any way. You certainly don’t want to cause issues in their relationship or leave them feeling disappointed.
  11. And if you only remember one thing it’s this; don’t forget to shower your partner with love and affection afterwards. Swinging should be a joyful and pleasurable experience for both of you. And it should ultimately make your relationship stronger.

It is to be considered that swinging is to improve your relationship, not to fix or rebuild it. A couple responsive to new and distinctive sexual encounters will start to investigate various roads of shared sexual satisfaction to keep on becoming together. Couples who need to figure out how to reconnect physically and genuinely are bound to enjoy a swingers’ party together.

It gives sexual variation, experience, and the chance to live out the fantasies and fetishes as a team without secrecy and deceit. In any case, never at any point join a swinging network and use it as a pretense to cheat on your partner.
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Swinging, whenever done respectfully, can upgrade your relationship by a mile. However, on the other hand, it is wicked thoughts like these that make sentences like the following one show up. Do it in the event that you want it to, stay away in the event that you don’t want to since guilty pleasures like these truly are to each their own!
6 Comments
Swingtips link
12/2/2020 16:51:34

Agreed, don't be afraid to have a quick chat before the fun begins just to see what everyone wants and doesn't want. Some will argue it hurts the spontaneity, but it will keep everyone happy throughout which is key.

Reply
Adult Shop Auckland link
28/8/2020 09:32:12

This wonderful blog is addressing topic on the swinging dos and don'ts.Here the tips and tricks for addressing such are mentioned. Such content must be made more and more available. Thank you for this article! This is really very informative. Do check out this Basementnz.com it has some great and nice ideas to look for.

Reply
Gerald Lewis
9/2/2021 08:30:22

I’m glad this is here me and my wife are brand new to this and I only knew of certain aspects before and We arelooking forward to starting to try

Reply
Jacob
7/8/2021 23:25:43

Is ok to let your spouse have sex with single men. Not including you in the fun.

Reply
George
7/6/2022 02:59:05

So what is the ettiquette when a couple you have played with introduces you to another couple and you like them/they you. Is it ok to play with the new couple and not include the introducing couple in the fun?

Reply
Chase
19/1/2023 23:13:41

As a mid-20s single male who has swung both with a girlfriend and alone, communication is key. I've been the bull in certain cuckold/hotwife meetups. My girlfriend and I have swung together with couples. I've also met married women who prefer to swing alone without their husbands watching. In my experience, it's much easier to have clear communication when I have direct contact with both the husband and the wife. They'll provide an STD test, I'll do the same, we'll talk about everything we want to do beforehand, then finally meet up in real life.

However during two of my previous hookups, two women I've met alone did not tell me that they are married until we're finally face to face. One didn't tell me until we were having intercourse and asked if I could take a picture of us together to send to her husband. I have no problem meeting married women for non-monogamous fun, but when you don't establish that you yourself are married, it comes off as disingenuous and like you're hiding something. How am I supposed to know what your husband is okay with during our play? Why wasn't this discussed in full before meeting? Are you secretly cheating on your SO and using the "lifestyle" as a coverup for your bad actions? In this world, everything, and I mean everything, needs to be discussed before entering the bedroom. I no longer expect couples or single women to tell me if they're married in bars or online, I automatically ask up front.

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